It is ridiculouly late and if I was smart I would be in bed right now. But this also just goes to prove how completely stupid I am.
I realized something today. After boy #1 left my house. (we hung out...cuddled...made-out) I don't feel anymore. Now, I'm not really sure how to explain this so it makes sense. But the main thing is...I don't feel. I no longer get the butterflies in my stomach. Or the excited "I like you" feeling. Around boy #1 or anyone else. It is as if I have become completely numb. I honestly have never felt like this before. At least not to this extent. I no longer am afraid of getting hurt. I'm afraid of never feeling. Never falling in love. It's strange how when you finally build the walls around you up so high it gets to a point that they become so strong that not even you can break them down. No matter how much you want to.
Don't give up on me.
Help me feel again.
1:38 a.m. - Mar. 12, 04
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