I was going through my phone, and 5 months ago yesterday was the last text I ever got, and will ever get from my dad. It is still so hard for my mind to grasp that. I tell myself he's gone, but my brain doesn't know how to process that information. So instead it just ignores it and I end up being torn.
During the holiday seasons especially I always look at old pictures and memories and think about traditions we used to do growing up and I crave to go back to those days. When everything was simple. And everything made sense. Where, for me, everyone that I knew and loved was alive and close by me. I didn't know what it felt like to deeply miss someone.
But then I reflect on these times right now with my little family (3, 2, 5months) and this is truley the simplest it will ever be in my life with them. These are the sweet and tender years that 20 years from now I'm going to look back on and beg to have back. I don't want them to pass me by because I am too focused on greaving my own childhood.
I guess that is the amazing part about heaven. We all get to be together. No more broken hearts because someone is missing. No one grows up and move away. No one gets old or sick and passes on. We will always be together. Always. Such an important word for me right now.
10:00 p.m. - 2013-10-24
Recent entries:
too many times - 2016-03-24
Dance - 2015-11-05
Me - 2015-10-29
mountain dog - 2015-10-24
Roman turns 4 - 2015-10-17
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others: