Tate and I went to California for 5 days over the weekend. We had a really good trip. It was good for us. Worked through some things. But it was a little too long for me. I spent a lot of time in the sun and apparently forgot to drink enough. Got sick on the way home then today I had to go to the hospital to get an iv cause I was so dehydrated. I am feeling better now though. Weak. But better.
So I have this other side. That's kinda messed up. But then again I always knew I was messed up this just kinda reinforced It.... At the airport on the way home Tate bought me the book 50 shades of grey to be funny. (inside joke) because I was so against it (don't like love stories, romance, or hearing about other people having sex) I wasn't going to read it. But... I got board and curious. (bad combo) I started it. And now I can't stop. It is very poorly written. And almost obnoxious. But I crave their relationship. Especially from experiences I have had in my life it should be a total turn off for me. But I am so turned on by the way he dominates her. The way he talks to her. The way he craves her. I want it so bad. Sometimes I think I am so far from what I'm supposed to be or from what I appear. Like if someone really knew my thoughts and desires they would never stay. I guess that's why I like my secrets.
11:38 p.m. - 2012-08-07
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