Can't sleep. Something feels wrong tonight. I'm nervous. Maybe I drank too many energy drinks. I hate how lonely nights can get. Too much time to think. It's almost Christmas. I really do hate Christmas. And December. If I were to commit suicide it would be in December. There is something very sad and painful about Christmas time. Can't really put my finger on it. Like it almost goes back to before I can remember.
As I was home for dinner on Sunday at mom and dads I had such a strong desire to make myself throw up. A feeling I have not had for years. I started throwing up around Christmas time year 2000. It's something about that house, those memories, this time of year that brings me back to such a dark place.
2:09 a.m. - 2011-12-20
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