2008..crazy! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
i just had the best new years of my life. and the perfect new years kiss.
since we met in october i have not made things easy on ej. i never returned his calls. i turned him down or cancelled later when he wanted to hang out. i told him all about my theorys on love, and guys and trusting. and for some strange reason (that not even he is sure of) he has stuck by me as a friend and waited it out. trying everything he could think of to prove he was a good guy. and i finally see it.
when he looks into my eyes and tells me how special i am and that he misses me. i believe him. i don't have to worry in the back of my mind that he is going to leave or hurt me. and that is a good feeling. he makes me smile. he makes me feel safe. he makes me want to be a better person.
he doesn't do whatever i ask. and i can't walk all over him. but if he knows it's something that really means a lot to me he will do anything he can to make it happen. and even if nothing works out between us i know that i had a good friend that cared about me as a person. and would never hurt me. it proves that some guys are actually good. i needed so bad to believe that.
i think 2008 is going to be a good year!
3:14 a.m. - 2008-01-01
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