This is getting ridiculously out of control. I'm to the point where I don't even care about being nice anymore cause I just want to get it over with and not have to worry about talkin' to him anymore. I don't even see why/how this will affect him anyways. There is nothing about me that is more special than any other girl out there. He'll get over it. Bleh.
I tried to explain this to Kate today, but she didn't get it. However, it makes sence in my head so I'm going to write it. The problem I have with Jake, and the reason that I can't like, like him (well besides the fact that he's too short) is that he is trying to rescue me and I don't need to be rescued. (let me try to help this make sence) It's like he sees me swimming and is too conserned about getting me out of the water so I don't drowned that he doesn't stop to listen and understand that I like to swim. (get it?) That is kinda how Scott was too. (but in his case poor Scott didn't know what to do with me cause I was so emotionaly unstable) (he did his best) Geesh! I don't know what to do. Jake and Scott wouldn't let me go near the water, yet Chris pushed me in and held me under water the whole time. Can't someone just let me swim?
Anyways, I don't know if that really makes since, but it does to me.
So today I picked up Chris And we went to the library and then to Pets Mart to buy Louie a leash. Then came back here for awhile. I really think we could be friends, but I don't know how he feels about it. I mean, we are kinda friends...but it's just still a little... .....uncomfortable... ...maybe. I don't know if that's really the word i'm looking for. Something to that effect.
Last night at FHE I looked at Tyler and I just realized that this (me liking him) is a total lost cause. There is no way in a million years he could ever like me more than a friend. Although I do still have a crush on him. All I can do now, is throw up my hands and whisper to myself 'I give up.'
9:44 p.m. - Feb. 10, 04
Recent entries:
too many times - 2016-03-24
Dance - 2015-11-05
Me - 2015-10-29
mountain dog - 2015-10-24
Roman turns 4 - 2015-10-17
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others: