Roman was born 5 weeks ago. I hate how I feel after having a baby. I was doing so good for the first 3 weeks. Lots of energy, happy, but not anymore. Maybe its the no sleep that does it or the constant need to feel human again but not sure how to accomplish that. I feel so lonely. It happened with Piper too. Nights are hard. Sometimes I still really want to cut. I have done so good not to do that since I had Piper. But I liked that secret. I liked knowing the cuts were there when no one else did. I won't. But sometimes I wish I could.
I am very thankful to have my babies. Just want to feel like myself again. I got pregnant again when Piper was 8 months old so it just feels like I have been pregnant and sick for so long. I'm tired tonight. I'm sad tonight. I feel lost. Tate has been very helpful since Roman has been born. But I feel so far away from him. So far away from everyone. Very very lonely.
9:35 p.m. - 2011-11-23
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too many times - 2016-03-24
Dance - 2015-11-05
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