Time is almost up. A few more bags and boxes and we will be moving out of our 1st house. It's really sad so I can't think about it. I couldn't really put my finger on why is was hurting my heart so much at the thought of leaving. Until I was crying the other night and Tate was trying to comfort me saying "how much I'm going to love a brand new home. And we 'll be able to make happy memories there." Finally I just blurted out (through the sobs) "but my dad will never visit and go inside the new house."
I realized I'm scared to let this house go because it's some of the last memories I have of him. I can picture him eating at my table. And sitting in his wheel his watching tv. Him wanting me to give him a tour of my house but the hallways were too narrow so we had to back up. The times when he had no strength to be pushed up the ramp Tate built to get into my house we just pushed in to the back yard and all sat and talked while piper ran around and roman sat there. Now it's all going to be gone. I won't be able to look around my house randomly and have little visions of my dad being there.
But now the walls are all bare and things are all in boxes. It's sad and depressing in here and it's time to go.
9:02 p.m. - 2014-06-24
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