Roman had his surgery 2 weeks ago today. Overall it went very well with no complications. So we were very lucky. We thought we were going to make it but in the end he did have to get a blood transfusion which I was sad about. The day after his surgery his eyes were completely swollen shut. Which is very scary for a 2 year old. What made it worse is that people were constantly coming at him with needles pricking his finger, putting in ivs, drawing his blood. And all he knew was that his mom was pinning him down while people were hurting him. It was horrible for me so I can't imagine how scary it was for him because he really didn't and still doesn't understand what happened and why.
Roman has PTSD from his surgery. I was not aware that was possible. He did great the first 2 nights we were home. And then he started having screaming fits and no matter what I would do or say I couldn't calm him down. He would yell "ouch. ouch. no stop. help me." All night long in his sleep. I would have to give him his pain meds for him to sleep. He has continued to get worse. Screaming (not crying but actually screaming) throughout the night. No more naps. And is up most of the night. He refuses to talk to me so I don't really know what is wrong or how to fix it. I stayed in his bed with him last night at 3:00 am till 6 just so he would stop screaming and not wake Piper.
I have not wanted to give him pain med anymore since I don't think he actually needs it for pain so because of that he has been screaming and refusing to lay down all night. I was sitting on his bed holding him trying to get him to talk to me and he kept saying "down down. I want to get down." I told him "no you have to stay in bed. We can't get down." And while I was saying it I realized that was the same conversation we had over and over again at the hospital.
And then it hit me.. it's the bed. He thinks the bed is what was causing him to be in pain. He is afraid of the bed. I sat him on the ground and said "you want to sleep down here? You want me to snuggle your blankets on the ground?" He said yes. And as soon as I made him a spot on the floor he crawled in and fell asleep and it has been quiet since. Poor little boy.
I'm tired.
2:45 a.m. - 2014-04-05
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