Piper had her first "ballet recital" on Tuesday . I think I was more excited than she was (close call.) It is so crazy to watch her grow up into her own little person. She is so confident out there. Loves having everyone watch her. She has her "gymnastics meet" tomorrow. She is growing so fast.
Emery is now 7 months. Has 2 teeth. Sits by herself. Most perfect baby ever made. But almost not a baby anymore.
Roman won't go to sleep at night unless I hold him and sing.. jingle bells, I'm a child of god, up on the house top, twinkle little star, and sun beam. I was busy with Emery the other night so Tate went in and sang jingle bells to him. Roman stopped him mid way threw, saying "good try, mom do it." And pointed to me out the door. I try to hold him so close and lock in my mind how his little head smells. It's going to go away soon, and I'm going to beg for these nights again.
Christmas has almost come and gone. Been such a hard hard year for the holidays. I still haven't been able to listen to any Christmas music or watch certain movies. There are just way too many painful memories. And so much my dad is missing out on. I miss him every day.
I cut again last night. Which is frustrating. I just can't completely deal with the sadness and the flash backs and the visions I can still see in my head so clearly of WATCHING my dad die. Watching him in so much pain. Getting smaller and weaker every day. It hurts so bad to remember. He went through so much and it hurts me for him because no matter our relationship he was my dad. And I always loved him.
9:34 p.m. - 2013-12-18
Recent entries:
too many times - 2016-03-24
Dance - 2015-11-05
Me - 2015-10-29
mountain dog - 2015-10-24
Roman turns 4 - 2015-10-17
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