Dad has gone down hill a lot in the past couple of months. He is now on hospice. Has a catheter. Can't get out of his wheelchair at all so Dave and Darin come over most mornings and nights to lift him in and out of bed. He has a hospital bed now and has to be on strong pain medicine most of the time because his legs are so bad and all the pain in his stomach from the catheter. His hands and upper body shake all the time. It is hard for him to grip anything which is making eating hard. It is the most heartbreaking thing I have ever had to watch. I assume you expect to see your parents go down hill at some point in their life. But not at age 58. It is such a mean disease. Because it will literally take every thing from you, but won't kill you. Most people with ms only live 5-10 years shorter than the average person. He could have another 15 years living like this. Just getting worse. I'd rather have cancer. At least they can try to cure you or you die. You don't have to live without hope, in so much pain, for so long. My dad doesn't cry. And seeing him so defeated and in so much pain. Knowing he must feel so alone kills me.
I went to the dr yesterday. I'm only at a 1, 30% thinned out. So still most likely have another week or 2. I never really had cravings with the other 2 pregnancies. But I am completely 100% addicted to ice. All day long. All night long. Have to have my cup of ice. Then like 2 weeks ago the part on our ice machine that crushes the ice broke. It was a very big deal! Luckily Katie and Blake found that Bowmans has bags of the most perfect little gas station ice. Needless to say, we go on ice runs a lot.
7:59 p.m. - 2013-05-07
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