dear chris,
i don't think your a good person. i don't think you have good intentions. i think you are very selfish and that all i was to you was a piece of ass. you looked into my eyes and promised me you had changed. you told me how sorry you were about all you had put me through and would take it all back if you could. you promised you wouldn't hurt me anymore. and that you wouldn't leave. you looked deep into my eyes and told me you loved me and that you would protect me. and that nothing would hurt me again. you were upset with me because i didn't trust you. so i did. you were mad that i didn't open up to you. so i tried harder. and then, when you were tired of me. you turned around and left. you didn't even give it a second thought. you truely didn't even care. it's almost in human that you could do that.
i don't blame you though. i know this is my fault and i put myself in the same situation with you everytime. i trusted your words when your actions proved that i shouldn't. and it's my fault i'm hurt. it's my fault i feel used. it's my fault that i can't open up or trust anyone else. but i will work through it. i will move past it. and i will be ok.
i don't forgive you right now, but i will. not for your sake cause i really don't care. but i will forgive you for my sake so i can move on and i can. and one day you will wake up and realize how much you want me in your life. and how much you lost when you walked away from me. but i will be waking up with a guy who already knows.
1:47 a.m. - January 10, 2008
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