I am so very tired right now. I found out that I don't have to go in for surgery till 1. So that means I have to go to school for my 8:00 and 10:00 classes. It's okay though, I need to be there. I don't want to go tomorrow, I'm gettin' kinda (okay, I admit...) REALLY nervous. sigh.
So yesterday Josh drove me to the bus stop. (not my idea. he kept insisting till I finally gave in) so once we get there I'm ready to get out of the car and he's like "do I get a kiss?" I said no. Then he like freaked out. He was all "I drove you here and I don't get anything in return?" I was like "you were the one who wanted to drive me. Remember? I didn't ask you to. I'll tell you thank you, but that's all your getting from me." I turned to grab the door handle and he grabbed my jaw with his right hand and jerked my face around so I was facing him. (He did it pretty hard. It hurt.) Then while he was looking in my eyes he was like "maybe you didn't hear me, I said I wanted a kiss." I tried to remain calm (though my heart was pounding so fast) I just look straight at him and in the clamlest voice I could find I said "let go." He then took his hand off my face and moved it down to my leg rubbing the upper inside part of my thigh. The then whispered "Come on, you know you want to. Kiss me." I turned opened the door and was like "Don't touch me." I then slamed the door and walked up by the bench to wait for the bus. He drove off. It really wasn't that big of deal, but as I sat there I couldn't help but have a few tears. However, I didn't allow any of them to escape my eyes and run down my face.
But then Jost actually had the nerve to call me last night. (I didn't answer) He left a message saying that he wanted to go out on a date tomorrow night (which would have been tonight) and that I needed to call him back and if I didn't he would be really mad. (It wasn't in like the joking I'll be really mad type, I got the feeling he meant it.) I haven't called him back though. And I don't intend to. Bleh!
Chris and Jeff came over today. They both think I hate them, but I honestly don't. If I did, why would I hang out with them? I'm too tired to try to figure out exactly how I feel about them. Maybe another day.
9:47 p.m. - Feb. 19, 04
Recent entries:
too many times - 2016-03-24
Dance - 2015-11-05
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